People: The Most Important Variable That You Cannot Control

Last Thursday we held our AP Night - the night in which students and parents could preview our AP course offerings by attending an evening of informational sessions. In the past, this night has taken place at some point between late-February and mid-March, but due to a change to the district calendar, we had to push it up to the week after first semester.

For such a limited amount of time, my peer and I managed to pull off what we thought was a pretty well-organized event. AP teachers had commented that in years past some courses would overflow because parents would pack into a session; it wasn’t unusual for a classroom containing 35 student desks to have 40 to 50 people crammed into it. In an effort to minimize this, my peer and I came up with a registration process that would take place prior to the first session. Students and parents would arrive and choose up to 3 courses to preview that evening. In order to ensure that people were where they were supposed to be, they would be given a color-coded and numbered ticket that identified which course and what session they should be in. We cut out hundreds of tickets.

Registration was to begin at 6:15 PM and conclude at 6:40 PM, with the first session starting at 6:45 PM.

At 5:30 PM, the front atrium, where registration was to take place, and where we had yet to finish setting up, was starting to fill up with parents who were worried they would not get to see a session. By 6:00 PM, we were probably breaking the fire code as parents continued to shove - literally shove - their way into a space where people could hardly move.

Now, my peer and I had been told that our school’s parents were demanding and disrespectful, but up until that evening we had not really seen evidence of this. The evening more than brought us up to speed with our co-workers’ experiences. Between 6:00 PM and 6:45 PM, I came face-to-face with a swelling mass of dirty looks, profanity, and various other derogatory statements. Parents got in my face and yanked folders and papers out of my hand. I had never experienced anything like it.

I still think she and I had a good plan, but we just could not account for the reaction of parents. Having planned the event somewhat blind - there was nothing from previous years’ events - I believe we did pretty well. Since that evening - last Thursday - I have continually reflected on what went well and what could be improved upon. We had developed and delivered a participant feedback survey and, although we less-than-seriously toyed with the notion of taking it down, we encouraged parents to provide their feedback knowing full well that we may feel really small after reviewing it.

Having worked in some difficult contexts prior to coming to this school, I believed that I was prepared to handle anything when it came to difficult parents; however, that was not the case. I found an article by Todd Whitaker (“Dealing with Difficult Parents”) and read through it. I found Whitaker’s approach to be very enlightening; I liked how he pointed out that people in positions of authority - principals and teachers alike - should not have to prove they are in charge (no yelling, using sarcasm, etc.). Also, the notion of teaching teachers how to engage parents is extremely effective; something I have learned in my time at this school - and especially after AP Night - is that one must always be mindful of a person’s context.

I know that the odds of me interacting with difficult parents again are pretty high; therefore, I am actually glad that I experienced an event like AP Night prior to beginning my career as an Assistant Principal.