Sitting On My Hands

Since returning to the Atlanta area in the spring and being afforded the chance to once again pursue my interest in and passion for leadership, I have been chomping at the bit to obtain a position as an assistant principal, which I believe is my next step. I took my current job because it would facilitate my quest toward this goal by both allowing me to apply to the Ed.S. program and affording me new leadership opportunities.

At this moment, I feel that I’m in the midst of performing a very uncomfortable balancing act - doing my job - teaching - while looking for another job - assistant principal. My resolution to this has been to figuratively sit on my hands, and I’m really getting antsy.

I know that many school districts are beginning the process of looking to fill next year’s AP positions, and I would really like to put myself out there in the pools, but I just got hired in my school and district, and I can’t help but be hesitant to begin applying for positions outside of the school and district out of fear that it looks like I’m jumping ship.

From my vantage point, my school and district could use my experience as an instructional leader, but I’ve been told that there is a hidden list of characteristics that district leadership is looking for when it comes to their assistant principals. I understand that these unwritten qualities keep candidates from gaming the system by using all the right buzz words in an interview, but it also keeps  in the dark those candidates who would want to garner experience with and authentically develop those qualities.

The principal who hired me did so with the understanding that I was looking to move into an assistant principal role, and she even mentioned that she believed she would be lucky to keep me for a year before being snatched up by another school, but she’s gone and I feel that by looking for AP positions outside my school and district I look more like a ladder-climber rather than an instructional leader who wants to effect change.

Paradoxically, I do good work, but I’m my own worst critic. I would rather someone see what a great job I do rather than me tell them what a great job I do, but I feel that if I continue in that mindset that I will get nowhere.

My career is important to me, but I truly want to help do school better, and I have this intense desire to be in a position to have a wider impact outside of my classroom, and even my school building.